The pressure of being a perfect mother

During pregnancy, a mother takes the utmost care of her baby by ensuring that all the essential nutrients are provided to the baby through her. A mother bears immense pain in the gestational period to bring a new life into this world. Numerous physiological and biochemical changes occur in a woman during pregnancy, but the mother still bears all this for her baby. Even after your baby's delivery, women make sure their baby's healthy growth and development. Perfection in motherhood is a myth. Not every woman can be a perfect mom, but every woman can be a good mother. Motherhood is not an easy task; it involves a lot of hard work and dedication. It is the responsibility of the mother to make decisions in the best interest of the child. 

The postpartum period after pregnancy involves moving through many changes, both emotionally and physically. It requires learning to deal with all the changes that are needed to become a new mother. During the postpartum period, mothers need to take care of both themselves and their babies. The mother must take plenty of rest and proper nutrition to build her strength for handling her baby. After the delivery of the baby, the mother's body becomes tired and fatigue. She also has to feed the baby every three to four hours. The mothers must take adequate rest when their babies are asleep. Another essential factor that newly born mothers need to take care of is the nutrition provided to the baby. Up till six months, the only source of food for the baby is breast milk. Whatever nutrients which are consumed by the mother are passed on to their babies through their breast milk, hence mothers must take care of their nutrition post-delivery to provide healthy nutrition to their baby as well. [1] [2]

See: Pregnancy Diet & Nutrition

How to be a good mother?

How can you become a good mother?

Adjusting to everyday life postpartum has its challenges, especially if you are a new mother. The mother must always take care of her baby, along with taking care of herself. Mothers must take adequate rest and nutrition after delivering the baby to provide healthy food to their babies. Till the first six months, the baby is entirely dependent on the mother for its nourishment.

Research shows it is found that a mother needs to maintain her own emotional and mental development to become a good mother for her children. After six to twelve months as the baby grows, it is the sole responsibility of the mother to teach ethical values within her children and become a good mother. The following list has some of the core qualities which women need to imbibe within themselves to endure motherhood's journey.

- Be Patient

Patience is a virtue of a good mother. As children grow, they tend to explore new things where they might even make mistakes. Hence, a good mother must be patient and relaxed, and things would work.

- Be encouraging

While growing, children are going to stumble on many mistakes, be it walking, running, eating on their own, or anything else. Children with supportive and encouraging mothers can take their failures lightly and get a boost to do much better.

- Be understanding

It is the most basic but crucial aspect of a good mother. A good mother needs to listen to their children and understand their needs and situation from their perspective.

- Always be there for her children

Nowadays, we see many women are working mothers. Apart from serving duties at your work, working mothers need to be there for their children. Mothers should give time to their children and make an effort to create a strong bond with them, which would make your children feel more important and inculcate trust, self-worth, and love.

- Be humble: It may look complicated, but a mother must be humble to their children. If a mother makes any mistake, she should apologize to her children to teach her children a valuable lesson that everyone makes mistakes in their life. It is okay as long as you are humble enough to admit your mistakes. Mothers would earn a lot of respect from their babies.

See: Pregnancy yoga poses & classes

Helpful tips to become a good mother

Some tips to become a good mother

There's lots of stress about being the "perfect" mother nowadays. It feels like a competitive sport that you're doing badly at. Needless to say, everybody has a different opinion about what you will need to do in order to function as best mother ever, and frequently, the advice you hear on the best way best to achieve this is conflicting.

You are supposed to put yourself first, but also do what is best for your child. And then there is the pressure to do outlandish things, like make a soccer star, feed your child a Paleo or vegan diet, turn them into a musical prodigy at an early age, and instruct them multiple languages before they begin school. During the initial five-year period, mothers have the responsibility of taking care of their children, be it their nutrition, or teaching values.

Here are some tips where a woman could become a good and joyful mother.

1.     Make nutrition colorful

It is the job of good mothers to make their kids understand the value of proper nutrition. Efforts should be made to include a wide range of different colored fruits and vegetables to involve all the necessary vitamins and minerals in the diet.

2. Don't skip breakfast.

Mothers should explain the importance of breakfast to their children. It is the most important meal during the day, which kick starts their brain activity and provides energy to them for the whole day.

3.  Pick enjoyable physical activities.

Nowadays, all children have developed the habit of playing video games the whole day. They must perform physical activity every day. A good mother must take their kids out of the house for a light physical activity, which would make them active and healthy.

4. Don't be a couch potato.

According to studies, it is found that children who watch more than two hours of television continuously every day are at a higher risk of developing health problems, which include impaired performance at school, obesity, and irregular sleep patterns. Hence, it is essential to indulge in light physical activities.

5. Read everyday

Reading habit is an essential component of a child's success in school and later in life. As per studies, reading helps build a child's self-esteem and relationship with parents and others. 

6. Drink water, not sugar sodas

Mothers must develop healthy habits within their children that water is healthy, whereas sugary soft drinks are unhealthy. As per studies, it is found that sugary soft drinks provide no nutrition instead cause weight problems.

7.  Enjoy a family dinner.

With hectic work schedules, a family must spend time together over dinner. Research shows that sharing a family meal helps family bonds get more robust, and children develop empathy. It also lowers the chance that children suffer from stress and drug abuse later in life.

8.  Spend time with friends

It is the role of a good mother that her children go out and make friends. Friendships are essential for the healthy development of children. Playing with friends helps children learn valuable skills like communication, cooperation, and problem-solving.

9. Stay positive

Mothers should teach their children to be positive in all situations, no matter how things go. Children look up to their mother for assistance and positivity to tackle the setbacks of their life.

10. Stay strong

Children must learn from their mothers to be secure in their life. They should be keen to tackle the setbacks of their life and should not fall prey to stress, anxiety, and depression. [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9]

11. Listen Closely

Listen intently to what your children are saying and how they're saying it without interrupting them. Instead of a prepared speech, respond to them based on what they want to get across to you. It will bring you much closer together, and they'll learn how to value your input

12. Give Your Children 15 Minutes

Twice each day, disconnect yourself from your everyday tasks, and move into their world with no distractions. Get the enjoyment by talking and playing together without interruptions. It builds an emotional connection and promotes positive focus.

13. Find The Experts In Your Life

At times, the key is knowing what you do not know. It is okay to not have all the answers, and you will realize that if you ask for help, there are people everywhere who will gladly support you.

14. Be Confident

Parents that are doubt-filled will have a tough time teaching their children to be confident. And even when you do have some regrets, do not speak about them with your children. If you're always making negative statements and berating yourself, so will your kids.

15. Cease multitasking

Mothers generally pride themselves on their ability to multitask at the maximum level. It is exhausting and leaves mothers feeling as though they're not doing any one thing really well. Start time blocking instead. Block amounts of time for each task. When it's playtime with the kids, that is the one thing that you do.

16. Hit Pause

Sometimes things can feel overwhelming. As a mother, it is crucial that you stay the serene and fair one in the circumstance. Your kids are searching for you to be their rock and their pillar of stability. Take a few deep breaths, collect yourself, or turn around and close your eyes for a minute. Then, once that first anger or frustration subsides a little, you can calmly handle the situation in a more rational way.

17. Place Your Phone Down

It is really easy to get caught up in our technological world, but it is so important for our children's development to have a mother that's present and at the moment together. You both will have much more fun, and you'll present your child what you already know: that you like being together.

18. Take Care of Yourself

Mothers have a tendency to put others' needs before their own, and in the long run, the entire family suffers. To make using a little "me" time a priority, and your children are going to reap the benefits.

See: Pregnancy Massage Benefits

Summary

Motherhood is an individual journey where all the mothers embark on a mission to become a good mother for their children. Mothers need to be patient enough to deal with the unexpected adventures of motherhood. The essential thing which involves being a good mother is immense love and affection for the baby. Other tips engaged in being a good mother could be learned along the journey of motherhood.

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References

1.     Changes in your relationship after having a baby. (n.d.) nct.org.uk/parenting/changes-your-relationships-after-having-baby

2.     The new mother: Taking care of yourself after birth. (n.d.) stanfordchildrens.org/en/topic/default?id=the-new-mother---taking-care-of-yourself-after-birth-90-P02693

3.     Baby blues. (2015, August) americanpregnancy.org/first-year-of-life/baby-blues/

4.     Feinberg, M. E., Solmeyer, A. R., & McHale, S. M. The third rail of family systems: Sibling relationships, mental & behavioral health, and preventive intervention in childhood and adolescence. (2012, March). Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review,15(1), 43-57

5.     Forthun, L. (2015, August). Family nutrition: The truth about family meals

6.     Mayo Clinic Staff. (2013, August 16). Children and TV: Limiting your child's screen time

7.     Sugars, added sugars, and sweeteners. (n.d.) Retrieved from heart.org/HEARTORG/HealthyLiving/HealthyEating/HealthyDietGoals/Sugars-and-Carbohydrates_UCM_303296_Article.jsp - .V4whk5MrLOZ

8.     The surprising benefits of reading with your kids. (2015, March 18) health.clevelandclinic.org/2015/03/the-surprising-benefits-of-reading-with-your-kids-infographic/

9.     Weight loss and breakfast: Breakfast benefits health and can aid in weight loss [Abstract]. (n.d.) health.harvard.edu/press_releases/weight_loss_healthy_breakfast

10. Baumeister, Roy, et al. "Bad is Stronger than Good," Review of General Psychology (2001) vol.5, no. 4, 323-370.

11. Elliott, Andrew and Todd Thrash, "The Intergenerational Transmission of Fear of Failure," Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin (2004), vol. 30, no,8, 957-971,

12. Siegel, Daniel J., and Mary Hartzell. Parenting from the Inside Out. New York: Tarcher/Penguin, 2001.

13. Varish, Vaish, Tobias Grossman, and Amanda Woodward, "Not All Emotions Are Created Equal: The Negativity Bias in Social-Emotional Development," Psychological Bulletin (2009), vol. 134, no.3, 383-403.

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